Yugioh Randomness
by pharaoh cazuki
Summary: Just random Yugioh stories. It should be pretty funny... well I hope it is. Enjoy!
1. Fourth of July

I'm re-writing this story… again. Only this time because someone turned in it because it looked like a script or something. What a bother! Oh well, what's done is done.

Disclaimer: I don't own Red vs. Blue or Yugioh.

- - - - -

Patriotic music started to play as Yami, Yugi, and Marik come onto a brightly decorated stage. "Hi everybody I'm Private Church from the popular web series Red vs. Blue…" Yami said bowing slightly. He turned to look at Marik. "Hey, Donut, what are you doing man you're suppose to be wearing your old red outfit, so we can be red, white, and blue. This isn't very patriotic."

Marik crossed his arms defiantly. "I'm being patriotic… in my own way."

The shorter boy sighed and hit himself. "Alright let's just start over…"

"Hello everyone I'm Private Church from the popular web series Red vs. Blue…" Yugi said mimicking his look a like.

Yami glared at him. "Caboose, that's my line!!"

Yugi quickly retaliated. "You can't prove that."

The crimson eyed teen sweat dropped. He then turned to the audience a.k.a. you. "As you probably know this weekend we celebrate July fourth or as it's known in Mexico Cinco de Mio (sp?).

The smallest teen grinned brightly. "Many of you may take this time to enjoy your wiener."

"I know I will," Marik commented.

Yami stared. "But the real reason we celebrate isn't for the food or the non-stop binge drinking."

Marik was shocked, "What?!"

"There's only one true reason we celebrate the Forth of July," he paused. "To have a lot of explosions!!"

Yugi punched the air. "Yay, its Fireworks Day!!"

Marik joined in. "Yeah, I still got three fingers left from last year!!"

Yami shook his head. "In celebration for the big day we will assembly the basic tips that will hopefully make your holiday explosions safe and enjoyable for the whole family. Let's watch as Caboose and Donut demonstrate some common mistakes to make when avoiding handling fireworks."

Safety Tip #1: Never play with fireworks indoors.

Yugi smiled. "Hey, Donut, check out this awesome sparkler, and it's even more fun, because we are playing with inside."

"Hey," Marik commented, "that's not a sparkler. That's a grenade!!"

Another grin only this time it spread even wider across his face. "Don't worry we are completely safe all of the doors are locked from the outside so we cannot escape." He thought for a second or two. "Oh wait a minute. " Boom!!

Safety Tip #2: Never play with fireworks near an open flame.

Marik was standing over a grill. "Hey, Caboose," he yelled. "How do you like your meat, well done or pig in jersey?"

"Yes," Yugi said. "I will take that funny green glowing hamburger, please."

Marik stared at him confused. "Hey, that's not a hamburger… that's a grenade!!"

The tri-haired teen grinned. "I know, I switched them when you weren't looking." The grenades started to fizzle. "Uh… may I should not have done that." Boom!!

Safety Tip #3: Never put fireworks in your pants.

"Hey, Caboose," Marik said. "Have you seen my grenade?"

Yugi nodded. "Yes, I put it in my pants… wait…" Boom!!

Safety Tip #4: Never point fireworks at your friends.

Yami walked onto the stage. "For this last bit the part of the bottle rocket will be played by Sheila… enjoy!" He then exited the stage.

"Hey, Donut," Yugi stated. "Want to see my awesome bottle rocket.

Marik nodded. "Totally! Just remember don't point it directly at me, okay?"

"Okay," Yugi rubbed his head sheepishly, "and I promise I won't forget whatever it is you just said." He shot the bottle rocket straight at Marik. Boom! "I forgot!"

Yami came back out. "Okay and end scene! Well I hope you learned about fireworks and maybe even a little about yourself."

"Something," Yugi looked around frantically.

"Uh oh?" Marik said very worried.

Yugi bounced slightly in his place. "Out of time."

Yami leaned forward into the microphone. "Oh and I almost forgot the most important safety tip: if you have small children or even very very stupid adults never ever let them play with fireworks without proper supervision." Hisssss!! "Hey, what's that hissing noise?" Boom!! "Caboose?!"

Yugi quickly answered. "It was Simmons!!"

Ryo walked out. "What are you talking about? I wasn't even in this story!"

"Happy Fireworks Day everybody," Marik chanted loudly.

- - - - -

Hope you like it, because I had to re-write the whole thing so it wasn't written like a script. What a drag! I hope you tell me what I think. It would be very greatly appreciated.

Thank you for your support,

Pharaoh Serenity


	2. Pointless TV

Hey, another chapter of this humorous story and all of its crazy-ness.

Disclaimer: I don't own Foamy or Yugioh.

- - - - -

Mana leaned back on the couch. "So what do you want to watch?" She lazily flipped through the channels.

Yugi lounged over the back of the couch playing slightly with her hair. "I don't watch T.V. anymore."

His friend turned and looked at him. "What? Why?"

"It's all crap, reality shows, game shows, news networks with their brainwashing crap, and the commercials… I can't stand the commercials." He was now up waving his arms and walking around the room. "Commercials?! Buy this, buy that, you may have a deadly disease that needs medical treatment. Buy this drug, ask your doctor, ASK YOUR DOCTOR!!"

Mana stared at him as if he had grown a second head. "What if there's a good show on and you miss it?"

He shrugged. "If it's that good I'll wait till I can buy it on DVD box set and crap. No commercials and you can fast forward through all the stupidity."

She shook her head. "So what do you do to entertain yourself?"

He grinned. "Anything else: like go outside and through nuts at people. You know the usual."

"Do you listen to music?" she asked.

Yugi shrugged again. "Kind of depends. I gave up when self proclaimed punk rockers started rapping in their songs."

She nodded. "Oh? Yeah, there has got to be more control with the punk thing. Seems anyone with a tattoo and more make up than their mothers calls themselves punk these days! Punk is a state of mind not a fashion accessory!"

"Finally, someone gets it!" Yugi threw his arms in the air.

She relaxed back onto the couch. "Well if we're done here, my show's about to come on." She flipped the channel.

Yugi twitched. "Yeah, wouldn't want to interrupt your 'stories' with an intellectual conversation or anything. Eh?" He stormed out of the room.

- - - - -

Hope you enjoyed it. Please review or something I really want to know if it's good or not, and the only way to do that is to get feedback from the reader a.k.a. you. So please it would be a humungous help.

Thanks for your support,

Pharaoh Serenity


	3. Halloween

This is the third chapter of Yugioh Randomness. I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh or Strangerhood.

- - - - -

Yami walked out onto the stage. "Hello everyone as you know Halloween is coming up fast."

Ryo continued, "And even if you don't like to wear ridiculous outfits…"

"… And if your neighbors are actually strangers," Tea added.

"Like ours," Yami commented.

Ryo nodded. "You still wanna take this opportunity to demand they give you free candy."

Seto smirked evilly. "And ammo."

Yami sweat dropped. "No, Seto, just candy."

The taller boy's smirk widened. "Yeah, candy made of ammo. Like nugget bullets, score!"

The crimson-eyed teen shook his head. "First your gonna need a decent costume."

"You don't want to spend too much money though," Tea stated sweetly.

Ryo smiled. "Yeah, that would defeat the whole purpose of getting free candy corn."

Bakura jumped up. "Yay, Bakura is having inexpensive idea for costume."

In a surfer dude accent, Yugi commented. "You could make a toga outta bed sheets."

"Nah, Bakura no have bed… sleep on rug made of yak hair," he crossed his arms over his chest proudly.

Tea stared at him. "You can dress as a witch really cheaply. Just wear all black and carry a broom."

The older albino stared. "Yah, if wanting to look like Goth maid, could also listen to the Kuro while scrubbing toilet."

Yami sighed. "What do you suggest, Bakura?"

The said boy smirked confidently. "Bakura has best costume made yet… a mustachio!"

"A mustachi-who?" Ryo asked confused.

Bakura nodded. "Mustachio, it's easy to grow and looking good on all persons. Plus have many options: cowboy mustachio, fancy mustachio, milk mustachio, or like Bakura sexy mustachio. Plus can offer rides instead of candy. It's even looking good on the ladies." Imagines Tea with a mustache. "You remind me of my mother."

She made a disgusted face. "Oh gross!"

Yami sweat dropped at Bakura's idea. "Okay, now that you got a costume you need to know the best way to ask for candy."

"Take a look at these examples and see if you can spot the right approach," Ryo stated calmly.

Seto walked up to a neighbors 'door'. "Give me candy or I'll punch you!" BUZZ! Tries to knock on door again. "I told you I want candy and now it's punching time!" Attacks the neighbor. "Candy! Huah!"

Smack! Yami hit himself in the forehead. "Okay, none of those were correct."

The CEO smiled. "Still got my candy you dumb hippie… score!"

Ryo, ignoring the stupidity around him, continued. "Of course, if you get no treat you must trick, but trick wisely."

His yami walks up to the neighbor's door and knocks. "Hello it's Bakura just waiting to get candy or trick… oh wait you have something on your shoulder." He smacks the person on the shoulder. "Ooo… hehehe… hahahahaha! It's funny!" BUZZ! He knocks on the door… again. "Hello am knocking on door just to shake hand." His hand fell off to reveal his real hand. "Hahahahaha! It's my hand!" He attempted to knock again. "Hello is not suspicious!" BUZZ! He hit Seto with an egg.

"Uh… ugh… urrgh!" The taller man groaned.

Bakura laughed uncontrollably at the CEO's facial expression. "Ooo… hehehe… haha! Bakura also suggest burn down person's house for extra special good trick. Ahahaha! It's funny and national joke of my country."

Yami glared at the Thief King. "Bakura, that's not an acceptable trick!"

Yugi nodded firmly. "That's right… unless you live in Detroit."

His yami smacked him. "It's not acceptable there either."

"Bakura, why don't you TP the guy's yard or something?" Tea asked.

Bakura pretended to cry. "Yah, Bakura can no afford toilet paper… is more expensive then paper money from Bakura's home town."

She sweat dropped. "Okay, that's scary!"

Ryou nodded. "It is Halloween."

Yami stared at Tea. "Hey, Tea, what are you doing here anyway we thought you mysteriously died?"

"And where'd you get that scary costume?" Yugi asked.

Tea was confused. "Costume?! I'm not wearing a costume!"

A mysterious Grim Reaper appeared behind them. His breathe was heavy and raspy. "Me neither," his voice was demonic. Everyone screamed bloody murder.

"You guys are a bunch of Hallo-weenies. Hehehe! Get it Halloween plus weenie equals you. Hehe! Score! That was awesome. Now give me all your candy or it's punching time. You first Grim Reaper, and no raisins or pennies… unless their like they're like those, I don't know, chocolate covered one's. Yeah it's like candy and money all in one." Seto said everyone else just stared at him.

- - - - -

That's all please tell me if you like it and if there are any ways I could make it any better.

Thanks for your support,

Pharaoh Cazuuki


	4. Tea's Death

Yay! I finally typed up chapter four. Mwhahahaha! I mean… oh just forget it! Mwhahahaha!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh or Strangerhood

- - - - -

Yami stared at Seto. "Don't you spend anytime at your place?"

"I would but someone needs to clean up that pigsty. It's a mess! Huh?" Seto commented.

His companion sighed. "Aren't you the only one who's been there?"

The taller teen shrugged. "What exactly is your point?"

The crimson-eyed teen glared at him. "Listen, I'm actually glad you're here. We need to talk-"

"I already told you… this is my sweater vest," Seto proclaimed and crossed his arms.

Yami shook his head. "No, it's not that."

The CEO froze. "And it was someone else who ate your delicious homemade chocolate cake, " he sighed contently.

The smaller teen looked shocked. "Someone ate my chocolate cake!"

"Now, how would I know?" Seto asked while smirking. "And don't ask about the empty milk jug, either."

Yami sweat dropped at the taller teen's stupidity. "I think it's time we put our heads together, and try to find out why we're here and who that weird voice is?"

Seto looked at him and his voice changed… a lot. "That's sound like a terrible idea!" Yami stared at him his eyes as wide as saucer plates. "Pardon me when I drink too much milk my voice gets all congested," Seto coughed.

Yugi walked up behind the two older boys. "Dude?" Seto looked behind him. "Other dude?" Yami turned to look at his hikari. "Outrageous news man!"

The brunette shook his head. "Oh no! Did Bakura get his head stuck in the dryer again?"

"No," Yugi answered.

Yami took a stab at it. "The vacuum?"

The shorter boy shook his head no. "Nooo!"

Seto tapped his chin and then pointed the finger at the smallest teen. "The garbage disposal?"

"No, the toaster oven," Yugi answered, "but also there's been a murder man!"

The both looked at him their jaws dropped. "What?"

Yugi grinned. "That's right man… Tea's dead!"

Yami flinched. "Ooo… not Tea!"

The other teen was confused. "Which one was she? Was she the one with the tiara?"

The violet-eyed teen thought for a second. "Uh? No, the other one."

"Oh yeah," Seto proclaimed. "Poor little other one."

They all went to the crime scene a.k.a. where Tea was 'killed'. When there they found Bakura crying. "Why it's Tea, why it her and not someone Bakura does not like such as old guy… or the nerd!"

Yami saw Tea's dead body by the swimming pool.

"She's really dead! I can't believe it!"

Seto looked around at Tea's house. "I can't believe she's been living here all by herself. This place is huge! I get dibs on all of her appliances!"

The red-eyed teen walked over to Bakura. "Bakura, did you see what happened?"

Yugi answered his yami's question. "Dude, we both did! We saw everything!" They all went into flashback mode. Music was playing and splashing from the pool was heard. "Bakura and I were swimming in the pool, like totally having a good time, man!"

"Yay! Bakura having good time," Bakura cried randomly.

The other two sweat dropped at their friends idiocy. "And then Tea walked out to join us and she got attacked man!"

Bakura was still smiling. "Bakura still having good time!"

The smaller teen continued his story. "By a swarm of flesh eating locusts!"

The flashback Tea screamed. "Oh no, locusts!"

The flashback faded. "And then I was like, well!"

Yami was very tempted to whack the boy. "Yugi, what are you talking about? It doesn't look like her skin was eaten by locusts."

His look a like thought for a second. "Oh yeah? Right, dude, I forgot! What really happened was this--"

Bakura grinned again. "Bakura being fired from cannon!"

"We were swimming-," Yugi began.

Bakura ran around. "I have great time swimming!"

"-and then Tea-," Yugi continued.

The Thief King interrupted again. "Tea, come in pool it's fun!"

"-was murdered by a bolt of electricity," Yugi finally finished.

The other boy pretended to look shocked. "Don't come in pool now, Tea!"

Yugi grinned triumphantly. "There was a giant explosion and there was like bar-be-que everywhere man!"

Yami shook his head. "That can't be right either."

"No wait… I meant she drowned," Yugi concluded… again.

Seto looked at him confused. "But you said she wasn't even in the pool.

The flashback Tea cried. "Ahhh, cement!"

Bakura rose his hand. "Bakura remember… thing on space fall on head."

The red-eyed ex-pharaoh groaned. "Oh come on!"

The other ex-spirit tapped his chin in thought. "Or maybe she was eat by giant bunny. She tried to run but he could hop."

Yami whacked him. "Okay, honestly did either of you actually see what happened here?"

"Actually," Yugi's head drooped, "no dude. We were playing that Marco Polo game, so like we both had our eyes closed." Bakura agreed.

Yami shook his head and stared at them. "Wait… only one person is suppose to keep there eyes closed in Marco Polo."

Yugi's face lit up. "No wonder that game was so hard!"

The white-haired thief was crying again. "I know poor Tea. So sad to see her die in tornado."

"There was no tornado," Yami growled.

He looked at the ex-pharaoh. "Plane crash?"

The porcupine 'genius' rubbed his forehead. "No."

Bakura blinked. "Circus fire?"

Yami twitched. "No!"

Bakura beamed. "Ah, yes, Godzilla took her life!"

Yugi decided to join in. "Why?"

"Fire breathing menace," Bakura sobbed. Yami was banging his head on a nearby table.

Again Yugi cried. "Why?"

Bakura waved his fist angrily in the air. "Curse you, Godzilla, with your green spines and fiery breath. Bakura have fiery breath too, but he takes mints now and then."

- - - - -

Hope you liked it! I worked really hard to re-type and re-word it a little. I also added my own little humor in it!

Thanks for your support,

Pharaoh Cazuuki


End file.
